Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Here's my story of depression

The little boy is going to love shoes!
Since I heard about Robin Williams' death I've thought about sharing the fact that I'm challenged almost everyday by depression. I guess it has taken me a couple of days to decide whether or not to blog about my depression because there's such a stigma attached to mental illness. But that's just one of the stigmas that I deal with at this point in my life. I'm 60+ years old, and that makes my ideas and thoughts irrelevant to some people. I'm overweight, which to some people means I have no self control. I can be assertive, which translates to some as "bitchy." And the list goes on.

Of course I don't mind telling people that I have a thyroid problem, but I seldom speak about my depression. Once I say that I take medication for depression some people mentally mark me with a big "L" for loser on my chest. I've seen this mental labeling placed on others as well as myself many times. For example, once I was involved in hiring someone and it was brought up that a certain candidate took medication for depression and might be bi-polar. Would someone bring up the fact that the candidate shouldn't be considered for the position because s/he took medication for high cholesterol or hypothyroidism? Nope, but the hearsay statement about depression was made to disqualify the candidate for the position. It was a disgusting comment and I lost total respect for the person who made the unconfirmed statement.

Today I'm creating a step closer in my journey to be an authentic person, regardless of what others think of me. Yes, I suffer from depression, hypothyroidism, and sometimes high cholesterol. These are part of who I am, but not all of what defines me. So there!


  1. Brava, Julie! Courage can help us find peace. xox

  2. Depression is a physical illness....It is not weakness of character. I have read MUCH about this as I had a major bout of depression about 20 years ago. It was brought on by life events, but it had been lying there latent in my body for many years. Through the years, I had very little self esteem and was insecure in a lot of areas. The great thing about having a major showing of this disease was that I actually went for help and got it. I didn't want anti-depressants because I thought that was a symbol of weakness. I wanted to "lace up my boots" and figure out how to just get my act together. Then, I read about 10 books on the subject and was happy to realize that it is medication to correct the neurotransmitters in the allow the brain to properly send signals to allow one to think positive thoughts....not negative thoughts....which were the underlying current for me. My Mom was the same way. And depression runs in families. Anyway, I have no problem telling people that my life is totally different after finally getting medication to help me function properly....the same as a diabetic needs insulin. And having a doctor or therapist help you realize that those negative thoughts were not normal....but can be turned a life changing event. Poor, sweet Robin Williams was in a place of darkness and didn't go for help soon enough....thus creating a sense of worthlessness which was SO far from the truth. What a tragic loss....Too bad no one helped him recognize that he needed more help to get him through this valley of his life....So there. You are not alone, Julie. And you get up every day and create things and do everything you can to make life better. If you ever hit the valley, call me. I have been there. But, God and I changed my life and I have no qualms about it! Love, Paula