Sunday, August 31, 2014

Aulay, Day 13

The blanket I made for the little man has sweet farm animals.
When Mr. B and I went to the hospital yesterday to visit with the little prince, I took a blanket I made for him while I was in Santa Fe. You can see it in the pic-of-the-day covering his incubator mattress. It is flannel and features farm animals, trees, barns, etc. I promised the little man that when he gets older I'll teach him the noises that all the animals make. And, as always, I told him that he was loved and that many people are praying that he will get stronger.

The nurses gave us great news. Aulay has gained another ounce and now weighs 2 lbs. 2 oz. As with most babies, he dropped a few ounces after his birth, but in less that two weeks he has surpassed his birth weight with a total of four more ounces.

Today I'm creating another blanket to take to the hospital for the little man. Hopefully I have some flannel already in my sewing area.

Saturday, August 30, 2014

Aulay, Day 12

I cried last night when Aulay held my finger in his hand.
I helped Dr. Mc clean her house most of yesterday. I just don't feel good about her doing much for a couple of weeks. She needs to be resting and not cleaning. She has been washing Aulay's clothes and blankets getting ready for him to come home, even that won't be for a couple of months.

Mr. B and Rose got home yesterday afternoon. Hooray! After dinner he took me to the hospital to see the little man. It's so nice that the hospital let's parents and grandparents have access to NICU at any time because it was after 9 p.m. when we got there. I was beyond excited when the nurse let me touch Aulay. I stuck my hand in the incubator and started crying. His skin was so soft and his features are so small and delicate. Because he is thin he felt very boney and fragile. His tiny hand clasped my index finger. I know it's a reflex action on his part, but to me it was nothing short of magical having him hold my finger. I tell the little prince every day how much he is loved.

Today I'm creating a trip to Galveston, or at least that is what is supposed to happen. A friend is turning 70 and we have been invited to help Ray celebrate. My nephew Truett and his wife Elva have a condo in Galveston so Mr. B and I are going to spend the night in Galveston. All I need right now is some energy so I can go to Galveston and rest.

Friday, August 29, 2014

Aulay, Day 11: Go Little Man

There are wonderful woman who make and
donate caps for the preemies. He got a yellow one.
The test results are in from the ultrasound of Aulay's head that screens for hemorrhages. As it was explained to us, there are grades one through four, with four being the most serious. The little man only has a single grade one, which will heal itself. The doctors said grades one or two were similar to infants with no hemorrhaging. It's a GREAT day for the McZams and the rest of Team Aulay. Doctors will redo the test in a week just to ensure nothing was missed. We've been told that it's very rare that they would miss anything from the first ultrasound. At four weeks his eyes will be screened for abnormalities. Our little prince continues to amaze!

Dr. Mc is also feeling well. She still has some pain in her abdomen from her c-section, but that's to be expected. Plus, she now weighs less than she did before she was pregnant.

Today I'm creating a clean house for the McZams. Nick has so much music equipment in the house, which needs to go somewhere else to make room from the baby. Kendall is washing and folding Aulay's clothes. And Mr. B along with sweet Rose is driving the last leg of their trip back to Houston. I'm a happy camper!

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Aulay, Day 10

Sweet picture of Aulay and his daddy.
I made my trip to the hospital this morning to see the little man. As usual, he was looking mighty handsome! The nurse was getting ready to do an "assessment" that involves taking his temperature, listening to his heart, treating his belly button, check the connections to tubes, etc. I got to watch everything. This morning Aulay was very calm and slept through everything. I don't think I saw him open his eyes at all. 

In the next day or so there will be a more serious examination to look at the development of Aulay's brain. The best outcome would be that he is going to be fine. On the other end of the spectrum there could be signs that he will have cerebral palsy. Of course we are all hoping and praying for the best! Another condition doctors will be looking at is Aulay's rapid heart rate. The resting heart rate for a newborn should be 120-160. Aulay's seems to stay around 170-190. We have been told that a rapid heart rate can be a sign of infection or dehydration, but he has been cleared for those. Newborns can also have a temporary condition (tachycardia) caused from altered hormone and glucose levels at birth. This is a treatable condition.

Today I'm creating time for lunch with friends Kelli and Paula. I've been weepy and on the verge of tears for several days. Being with supportive friends helped me take my mind off of the McZams for awhile! I know I'll also feel better when Mr. B and Rose return to Houston. They left the casita today and are on their way home now.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Aulay, Day 9: Lil Squirm

Yesterday was difficult for Kendall and Nick. She got the green light to leave the hospital, which meant they were heading home without the little man. She cried all morning and stalled in the afternoon. When we were leaving the hospital, I told Kendall she was supposed to ride downstairs in a wheelchair, to which she defiantly replied, "I'm also supposed to leave with my baby." That pretty much sums up her mood!

I got a message from Kendall around 10 p.m. last night saying they were heading to the hospital to visit the little man. Later they sent photos, one of which I'm posting this morning. Apparently they were trying to tuck in "Lil Squirm" as she referred to him, but he wasn't have anything to do with it. The little man has some long legs that he likes to s-t-r-e-t-c-h out. He may have his coloring from Kendall's side of the family, but those long legs are definitely from the six-foot-plus Zamora clad. In 12 to 15 years, Aulay will be looking down at the top of his little mama's head.

Today I'm creating dinner for Kendall and Nick. I'm making her childhood favorite meal. There's nothing like comfort food in times of stress.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Aulay, Day 8: The little man gets a bath and his mama leaves the hospital

I love this picture of Aulay that was taken last night. If he is on his stomach he is rooting around to get his hands free, and pushing his little bottom up in the air to get his feet out from underneath him. If he is on his back his arms and legs are in fairly constant movement. His favorite thing to do is grab one of the tubes in each of his tiny fists. We were told by the nurses that preemies haven't been cramped in the mother's womb so they don't like to be in the fetal position like full-term babies. Whatever position the little man takes, he is adorable in my eyes!

Dr. Mc got the green light to leave the hospital today. I talked to Nick around 11 a.m. He and his baby mama were taking their time gathering up everything. Then they were going to visit Aulay before packing the car and heading home. After I left the hospital last night around 10 p.m., the McZams headed up to the NICU. They got there in time to see the little man getting a bath. Kendall said he was crying and his feet were kicking. I remember the little man's mama didn't like bath time, either.

Today I'm creating a trip to a client's office. I don't want them to forget me! Then I'm going to the hospital to stare at the little man for awhile. Next I'll check on Dr. Mc and Nick to ensure that are settled in at home. I talked to Mr. B this morning. He and Rose are still in Santa Fe, but they may drive halfway to Houston today. This means I have one more night to sleep in the middle of the bed.

Monday, August 25, 2014

Aulay, Day 7: Happy one week birthday to the Little Man

The little man with his eyes open as I talked to him.
You can see his blonde hair on the side of his head.
I hear that some of Kendall and Nick's friends are reading my blogs to keep up-to-date on the McZam family adventures. I'm happy to supply daily reports and will continue to do so until Aulay is home.

It has been one hell of a week since last Monday when I got the email from Dr. Mc that Nick was taking her to the hospital. It was a blessing for all of us that Dr. Mc and Aulay had a terrific team of doctors and nurses, although it probably wasn't how we would have wanted Aulay's birth to occur. After giving birth last Tuesday, Kendall is getting stronger and stronger as the days go by. She was hoping to be paroled from the hospital today, but is still here. Her blood pressure is good and the fluid is gone from her lungs. The doctor's main concern for Dr. Mc now is that she may have a problem with clotting, which is sometimes an issue with women who have pre-eclampsia as severe as hers. I spent about 45 minutes sitting with Aulay this morning. He lost weight after his birth, as most babies do. He is now a whopping 1 lb. 12 oz. He was off of the jaundice light this morning and the doctors tell his mom and dad that he is a strong little man, and an extremely active little baby. He is always moving his arms and legs around. Nick said when he and Kendall went to see the little man this morning that one of his legs was straight up in the air. Right now each of Aulay's arms and legs are about the circumference of my index fingers. He has really long fingers and long skinny feet. Nick continues to be a trooper! He was voted 2014 Best Drummer in Houston by readers of the Houston Press. I've nominated and elected him Best New Dad and Husband! He got us lunch from Chipotle today. While we were all three munching away the hospital's dietician came in to talk to Kendall about healthy eating. At least Nick and I weren't drinking beer as we did on Saturday night when his parents brought pizza to the hospital.

Today I'm creating an afternoon at the hospital. I did spend about two minutes reviewing and approving a poster for a client so it can be printed. I really think I need to take it easy and ease back into work and day-to-day life, don't you?

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Aulay, Day 6

Kendall got to hold the little man for an hour today.
I would be a terrible mother if I didn't start this blog by saying happy 26th birthday to Evan Lizabeth McCarley. As I sit in Woman's Hospital of Texas this afternoon I'm remembering back 26 years when I was in the same hospital for the birthday of Evan. She came out kicking and has been shaking up the world ever since. Love you, Sweetness!

Kendall was hoping to get out of the hospital today, but that wasn't to be. They are keeping her one more day. Although she is anxious to get out, she realizes that she needs to stay until she is stabilized. The worst thing would be that she went home today and was back in the hospital tomorrow! The good news is that she got to hold Aulay this afternoon for about an hour. The doctors are adjusting some of his meds, but all is good. I haven't seen him today. I came directly to Kendall's room first to check on her and bring some food. I'm going to see the little man in about an hour when it's feeding time.

Today I'm creating a casual day consisting of brunch with Evan and an afternoon with Kendall and Nick. Mr. B is in Santa Fe for a few more days so tonight I'll go home and sleep in the middle of the bed.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Aulay, Day 5

The little man doing his best to keep him eyes open for me.
I took Mr. B to the airport this morning. He is flying to ABQ and making the short drive to Santa Fe to rescue Rose from the kennel and close the casita for the summer. They're going to stay in SFe for a few days and then drive back to HOU. Closing down the casita for the summer is usually me job, but I left in a real hurry on Tuesday morning to get back to HOU for a special delivery! I appreciate Mr. B handling these duties this year so I can stay here with Kendall and the little man.

After dropping Mr. B at the airport I went directly to the hospital. I didn't sleep well last night for worrying about Kendall and Aulay. Both Kendall and Nick slept well last night, which I was glad to hear. The nurses did take Kendall for another chest X-ray at 4 a.m. The fluid in her lungs is less, that goodness! Her blood pressure is down, which is also good news. If she is a good girl today she may get to leave the hospital tomorrow. Aulay also had a good night. I stood beside his incubator for about 20 minutes this morning watching the shiny gold heart on his back move with his heartbeat. He was trying to keep his eyes open for me, but it was just too much for the little man. My heart aches to hold him and smother him in kisses, but that's not what's best for him right now.

Today I'm creating time at the hospital as well as time to do some birthday shopping for Sweetness. My baby will be 26 years young tomorrow. How can that be?

Friday, August 22, 2014

Aulay, Day 4

The little man stretched out and waiting on a new diaper.
The doctors have forewarned us that Kendall and Aulay will have good and bad days with their health. Sure enough, we had small setbacks with both of them today. Kendall was having a terrible time breathing today and her blood pressure was up again. This afternoon she had a chest X-ray and it was discovered that she has fluid in her lungs. She wasn't moved back to ICU, but she is back on an IV so medicine will get in her system faster. By tonight her blood pressure was down again, but she won't be going home tomorrow as planned.

The little man had a two-hour procedure today to insert a central line, and after that he was put back on antibiotics. I was able to see him twice today for a short time. The first time was immediately after his two-hour procedure. He was laying on his stomach (they do that in the hospital because it helps babies digest plus he is hooked up to so many monitors and they know if he stops breathing). The second time I saw him was for a little longer during his 6 p.m. feeding. The nurse turned him over to his back and he cried because he didn't like the disruption in his sleep. Next the nurse put the thermometer under in his armpit and he cried because he doesn't like his arm being held down. Then the nurse changed his diaper. When she walked away I snapped the pic-of-the-day with him stretched out. I couldn't resist putting my hand in the incubator to touch his tiny foot with my finger. I think the expression is "smooth as butter." After the nurse put a fresh diaper on him he got his dinner and was put back on his stomach. I'm not sure his eyes opened this entire time. I left telling him "good night, sweet prince. I love you."

Today I'm creating another day at the hospital with Kendall and Aulay. We're continuing to be thankful for Nick who only leaves Kendall's bedside if a family member is with her. He must be exhausted, but keeps on going. What a terrific husband and daddy!

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Aulay, Day 3

Nick's hand inside the incubator cradling
Aulay's head provides a good perspective
about the little man's tiny size. 
Kendall's blood pressure got to a normal range today and she was able to leave ICU. Nick put her in a wheelchair and took her to see her son for the first time since he was born. She was able to touch him and spend time with Aulay before going to her new room. Unfortunately, when she got to her new room her blood pressure had spiked, even though I had her lay semi-reclined for about an hour. When I left around 6:30 p.m. tonight the nurses had called the doctor to see what he wants to do about Kendall's blood pressure.

I was able to spend about an hour in front of Aulay's incubator today. At one point I saw his bottom lip quivering and commented to the nurse who was with another preemie about 10 feet away, "He's crying!" She responded that it was time for his dinner and he wanted to be fed. Before she got to his incubator a few minutes later, Aulay entertained me by stretching his tiny arms above his head and lifting his bird legs up. I stood by as the nurse took off his cap so I could see the blonde hair on his head. He cried again when she took his temperature under his arm. He didn't care for it when she changed his itty-bitty diaper, but sucked down the small amount of milk she put in his feeding tube. Then she put his cap back on his head, moved him on his left side, and he was sleeping again. I whispered "I love you little man" and blew him a kiss before returning to Kendall's room to check on her.

Today I'm creating time to do some shopping for Kendall. I was in foreign territory when I went to Babies R Us way out Westheimer to find her a special bra. Next I went to get her some gowns and a robe to wear now that she's in a regular room. Like me, Kendall wears big stretchy pants and a huge t-shirt to bed, which didn't seem appropriate hospital wear.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Aulay, Day 2

The little prince today, working on his tan.
The comments people have posted about Aulay are incredible. It's amazing how many people have had a similar experience with premature births or who are just offering prayers and well wishes. The prayers must be working because Aulay's breathing tube was removed today and Nick was there to see his son take his first breaths on his own. When I got to the hospital today I checked on Kendall first to drop off the dry shampoo and a hairband she requested me to bring. Then Mr. B and I went to the newborn ICU (NICU). We stood in front of Aulay's incubator and watched him blow bubbles as he breathed in and out. His heart was beating hard and his little chest was moving up and down with each breath he took. He was under a light for jaundice so we could see all the "peach fuzz" on his little head, arms and legs. I couldn't move away from the incubator because I was mesmerized by the movements of his tiny feet and hands. I stood there so long that one of the nurses asked me if I wanted a chair. I talked to Aulay about how much his mama loves him, but can't come to see him just yet because of all the IVs in her arms. I also assured him that someday soon his mama will hold him in her arms, kiss his tiny head, and make all his cares vanish. If only I could do that for my daughter today!

Some people have asked me about the origin of Aulay's name. There are multiple parts to the story, so stay with me. Part one: All of the men in Nick's family have first names that begin with an "A". Art Zamora (Nick's father). Abram Zamora (who we know as Nick). Alex Zamora (his brother). And the list goes on. Kendall and Nick wanted to follow this tradition, so they searched for a name that began with an "a". Part two: Kendall continues to use her maiden name, McCarley, which is a Scotch/Irish surname. We learned that McCarley went through several reincarnations during the decades, but probably started as Macaulay. Kendall and Nick decided to dropped the first three letters (Mac) and there was a first name for their son that began with an "a": Aulay. Finally his middle name (Evan), was chosen by Kendall and Nick to honor Evan Lizabeth McCarley, Kendall's younger sister.

Today I'm creating more time to spend with my much loved family. Mr. B and I spent several hours with Kendall, Nick and Evan at the hospital. The rule is that there can only be two guests in an ICU room at any time, but the nurses are very kind to let us all be together in Kendall's room. I can't say enough good things about the nurses in both ICU and NICU at Women's Hospital of Texas.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

What a difference a day makes

Kendall and Nick in a selfie, minutes before Aulay's birth.
On Monday night I was concerned about Kendall and her baby. The hospital doctor, but not her OBGYN, said Kendall needed to stay in the hospital over night for observation. Due to her diagnosis of pre-echampia, we were told the baby would be delivered possibly a few weeks early. Still in Santa Fe, I got a call from Kendall early Tuesday morning telling me that her OBGYN (the same doctor who delivered her and Evan), had called in a neonatal specialist. Both doctors thought it would be best for Kendall and her unborn son to have an immediate delivery, even though she was only 27 weeks into her pregnancy. The threat was that, because Kendall's blood pressure was so high, she might have a seizure or stroke. This meant that the baby would be delivered three months early, which posed great risks to his premature lungs, heart and other organs.

I scrambled to get the earliest flight back to Houston. All the way driving to the ABQ airport, I was crying and praying and talking to my unborn grandson, telling him how much we all wanted to meet him and how we needed him to be strong. About 10:20 a.m. Mountain Time I felt a sense of calm and quit crying for some reason. I arrived at the airport, checked in and sat down to see if there was any news about Kendall and the baby in my email. Aulay Evan Zamora had arrived at approximately 11:15 a.m. Central Time, which was the same time I had a sense of calm while driving. Nick sent me three photos. While looking at the photos in the airport I was sobbing, laughing, and finally screamed in the middle of the Sunport Airport, "I'm a grandmother." When I got to the hospital in Houston around 4 p.m. Houston time, Nick took me immediately to see my new grandson, who weighed only 1 lb. 14 oz. at birth. I was amazed to see a beautiful, if tiny, little prince. And when I started talking to him through the incubator, Aulay open his eyes for the first time and started looking for where the sound was coming from. It was as if he had heard my voice before when I was talking to him while driving in the car between Santa Fe and ABQ. I'm convinced that he somehow heard me telling him how much we all wanted to meet him and how he needed to be strong.

Today I'm creating a frantic trip to Houston to be with my precious Kendall and her little prince. She isn't feeling great yet and is worried about the future developmental problems might be for her son. If it's not enough that she is a worried new mother, she also has a Ph.D. in development psychology. All I can do at this point is remind her how much I love her and how much I love him, whether he is "perfect" or not. Right now he looks amazingly well to me, and the reports we are getting from the doctors and nurses are that he is strong and stable. Thank you, God, for the little miracle we know as Aulay Evan Zamora. Please keep him, Kendall and Nick safe and warm in your arms until they are able to be together at home.

Monday, August 18, 2014

A worried mother

I need to be in Houston with Kendall!
I don't know if I should jump in the Explorer with Rose and head for Houston or what. Nick had to take Kendall to the hospital tonight because her blood pressure is so high. Of course, I'm 900 miles away and have worked myself into a frenzy. Even if I locked the doors and started driving, I won't be in Houston until probably 10 a.m. tomorrow, at best.

Nick texted everyone that Kendall is being admitted to the hospital tonight so they can monitor her blood pressure. He said she feels fine, but after she ate tonight her face and hands started swelling and her blood pressure jumped. There is a pregnancy disorder called pre-eclampsia that worries me because in extreme cases it can be life threatening to the mother and baby. I'm crying now because I should be home taking care of Kendall and the baby.

Today I'm creating prayers for Kendall and baby McZam. I'm sure they'll be fine, but I'd feel better if I were in Houston. Regardless of where I am, a few prayers never hurt!

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Sleepy Sunday

Just outside the back door of the casita, this
beautiful holly hock has been a show stopper!
I found a new TV channel that I can't stop watching. I don't know if we have the History Channel 2 in Houston, but I found it in SFe and it's fascinating. Specifically, there's one show titled "10 Things You Didn't Know" that's amazing (I think that's the name of the program). I stayed awake watching what I didn't know about the White House, Presidents, Presidential Assassinations and more. Literally, I was awake when the sun was rising.

I'm not sure why I slept most of the day. Was it because I: (1) stayed awake most of the night watching television; (2) feel guilty not finishing the baby quilts I started; (3) didn't want to clean house; (4) can't find my cell phone; (5) am being driven crazy by the pro bono project I'm working on; or (5) miss my family. Maybe I'm depressed due to a combination of all of the above. I can set unrealistic goals for myself and then get depressed when I don't finish my projects. In fact, this is one of the problems I've had since I semi-retired a few years ago. In my adult life I've always been busy and have never learned how to relax, kick back, and smell the roses without feeling I'm an under achiever. My thoughts at the end of the day are often that I'm a slacker because I didn't accomplished more. Oh how I need to give myself permission to embrace a slower lifestyle.

Today I'm creating photos of the garden. As is the norm in the high desert, the weather begins changing around mid-August and the many of the beautiful colors in the garden begin to fade as autumn nears. I gain so much joy from the garden each summer and feel a sense of loss when the vibrant colors go away.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Another fun day

The last little bit of color in the evening sky.
It was Saturday all day and I enjoyed every minute. The morning started with Debbie and me attending the Ethnographic Market. It was a flashback for me because the market was located in the same building at the Recycle Market that I participated in last year. But I digress. Debbie introduced me to the Ethnographic Market several years ago. She and her late husband traveled extensively in parts of Africa and southeast Asia, and studied the cultures. She has enjoyed attending the Ethnographic Market because there are always items from the areas she visited. This year, the market had very little from those regions. In fact, I'd say 90-95% of the market was comprised of Native American treasures. I enjoyed the market, but Debbie was definitely disappointed. 

After we finished at the market we walked to the Plaza to a few shops. For anyone who knows these shops, Santa Fe Dry Goods and its fairly new sister store are still very much out of my budget! We went to The Shed for lunch, but the wait was too long so we went down to La Casa Sena. We sat outside in the garden, which is so beautiful from all the recent rain in the high desert. Lunch was my only expenditure today. I'm very proud of myself.

Today I'm creating quilt designs. After I dropped Debbie off at her place I came home, changed clothes, and put on a load of laundry. Then, inspired by vintage quilts and fabrics I saw Thursday and today, I sketched some designs. I don't think I'm ready for any of the elaborate designs I saw, but I'll certainly try my simplified quilt and blanket drawings.

Friday, August 15, 2014


I got up this morning, took Rose outside for her morning business, and then went back to bed. I'm blaming my sleepiness on the horrible Chardonnay I drank last night. Believe me, it wasn't by choice that I drank the oaky, vile-tasting vino, but my only other option was semi-warm beer. I'm not even a fan of cold beer!

Whimsical ceramic installation.
I went to the opening night of Objects of Art Santa Fe, which featured 65+ exhibitors from around the world. The objects ranged from contemporary to historic, and included fine art, furniture, books, fashion, jewelry, textiles and folk art (tribal, American Indian, African and Asian). In addition to a smaller crowd and first look at everything, the ticket price included hors d oeuvres and beverages. There is no truth in advertising! The space was incredibly crowded, I got two small bites, and the wine was terrible. If I'm here next year I'll be attending the Friday show at 11 a.m., which is only $13.

Today I'm creating the finishing touches to an online form, website announcement and Facebook posting. This quick, pro-bono project should not have taken 52 emails to complete, but that's what happens when there is a committee of eight and only two or three of us knew what the hell was supposed to happen. Somehow in my mind I have to learn a lesson from this experience and not be so inclusive with who is invited to participate. Another part of my personality revealed: I'm a "people pleaser" without concern for how crazy it drives me. To myself I say, "Get over it, girlfriend!"

Thursday, August 14, 2014


Newest acquisition for the casita. Ltd. ed.
serigraph on board by John Nieto. Vibrant colors!
Before anything else, I want to thank everyone for their likes and comments to my blog yesterday. As anyone with depression or any other mental illness knows, the support of family and friends is critical and makes a world of difference!

I was out and about this morning. What's going on in town is that Fall is on its way so every store is having clearance sales of Summer clothes. I did make a few purchases today of some clothes that I'll wear all year in Texas. Right now the temperature is in the mid-70s during the day and in the low-50s at night. In just a couple of weeks the temperature will be in the 40s at night. Unfortunately, that's the time I'll go back to Houston where the temps will be in the 90s.

Today I'm creating a flier and brochure. As with life and regardless of the shopping opportunities in town, work goes on.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Here's my story of depression

The little boy is going to love shoes!
Since I heard about Robin Williams' death I've thought about sharing the fact that I'm challenged almost everyday by depression. I guess it has taken me a couple of days to decide whether or not to blog about my depression because there's such a stigma attached to mental illness. But that's just one of the stigmas that I deal with at this point in my life. I'm 60+ years old, and that makes my ideas and thoughts irrelevant to some people. I'm overweight, which to some people means I have no self control. I can be assertive, which translates to some as "bitchy." And the list goes on.

Of course I don't mind telling people that I have a thyroid problem, but I seldom speak about my depression. Once I say that I take medication for depression some people mentally mark me with a big "L" for loser on my chest. I've seen this mental labeling placed on others as well as myself many times. For example, once I was involved in hiring someone and it was brought up that a certain candidate took medication for depression and might be bi-polar. Would someone bring up the fact that the candidate shouldn't be considered for the position because s/he took medication for high cholesterol or hypothyroidism? Nope, but the hearsay statement about depression was made to disqualify the candidate for the position. It was a disgusting comment and I lost total respect for the person who made the unconfirmed statement.

Today I'm creating a step closer in my journey to be an authentic person, regardless of what others think of me. Yes, I suffer from depression, hypothyroidism, and sometimes high cholesterol. These are part of who I am, but not all of what defines me. So there!

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Going back in time

Two purchases today: (1) a little pair of baby moccasins
and (2) a big ring by Debbie Wetmore for me.
I had such a fun day! I was gone from the casita from 10 a.m. until after 4 p.m. I want to give a shout out to sweet Rose for holding "it" the entire time I was gone.

I started the day by going to the Santa Clara Pueblo. It's their Festival Day when the tribe members dress in traditional costumes and perform Harvest and Corn Dances in tribute to their patron saint, St. Clare. There are elders to small children and everyone in between dancing to drum beats and chanting. It's very impressive to think that the Native Americans have been performing the same dances for hundreds of years and they continue to pass down the rituals to their children. I wish it was possible to take photos, but cameras and cell phones are not allowed. The fun continued at lunch with Debbie and Princie, and then Princie and I did shop shopping.

Today I'm creating a day of renewal. I felt so calm and reflective watching the Native American dances.

Monday, August 11, 2014

A damn near incredible day

One of my favorite art pieces from last weekend was a
wall sculpture made entirely of sponges. Very inventive.
This is how every day should be. I worked this morning on mainly pro-bono work for which I received numerous compliments and pats on the back. I love helping non-profit organizations when my skills are appreciated!

This afternoon I made my weekly trip to Fed Ex to send papers back to Houston. I also went to the grocery store, which is about an every-other-day event. And I ended the day by walking to a neighborhood restaurant with Rose to meet Leslie and Dick for dinner. It was a terrific evening for al fresco dining with friends!

Today I'm creating invitations for a baby shower, revising a brochure, and editing a coffee table book. It's on my bucket list to collaborate a coffee table book, and it's happening. Thanks Nicola and Sandi for the opportunity! I'm honored!

Sunday, August 10, 2014

A relaxing afternoon

Selfie before dinner with Fabene and Victoria,
and our photobomber.
People from Houston have been in Santa Fe for three days looking at magnificent homes and art collections. It has been a fun and hectic couple of days, and I'm excited to be home this afternoon … alone with Rose. It's time to recharge!

I did take one of the ladies on a trip to the Tesuque Village Market this morning. The vendor who I like with great textiles had gorgeous Indigo and mud cloth fabrics. I went back to his booth three times today to look at certain pieces of fabric. Too fun.

Today I'm creating a gardening afternoon before a nap. Or maybe gardening happens after my nap.

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Another full day

The Brothers Zamora accepting their award from Houston
Press for Best Songwriters. Happy and handsome guys!
As can happen when I'm in the high desert, I've lost all sense of time. I was sure that yesterday was Saturday, which would make today Sunday, but the calendar tells a different tale.

People came in Thursday night from Houston. Yesterday was spent drooling over private homes and art collections with them. I saw all the homes about four years ago, but it never hurts my eyes to see great artwork twice. Last night I was invited to a gala supporting children's education. It was a fun event at a table with seven other women. I was the high bidder on a guitar signed by Santana until I found out that there wasn't a certification of authenticity. I stopped bidding at that point. I did buy a certificate to Ten Thousand Waves. It's a fabulous spa outside of Santa Fe. When Mr. B comes, we'll enjoy it!

Today I'm creating another day of viewing art and then dinner with the group.

Thursday, August 7, 2014

A day for laundry

I've seen pictures of this turtle, but had an actual sighting
last Sunday. He just walks down the sidewalk with his owner.
Next week Dr. Mc will enter her third trimester of pregnancy. Of course she is experiencing swollen ankles and feet, which is one of the disadvantages of being pregnant during the hot and humid summer months in Houston. Hang in there, kiddo.

I'm happy to report that Rose likes her accommodations in the casita much better than the kennel. Last night she got on the bed with me and put her little head on the pillow. I'm not sure either of us moved all night.

Today I'm creating not much. I need to wash my sheets, clean out the car, and do a little grocery shopping. The skies are clear and the windows are open. It feels like a great day.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

A short ride home for Rose

Rose is happy to be home!
I slept so well last night! I opened the windows in the master bedroom, turned on the ceiling fan, and was out like a light.

About 1 p.m. today I got a call that Rose had her bath and cut, and was ready for me. I immediately jumped in the car and hit the road. She jumped in the backseat in front of the air vent for the short ride home and slept all the way. Once in the house, she checked out her food bowl and then jumped on the bed for her afternoon nap. My pajamas were on the bed from last night and she is laying on them. It's good to have the little girl home.

Today I'm creating an online form and then reading birthing books. So much has changed since I had my babies. I need to get up to speed.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

A trip back to the high desert

I think this is a purple bottle bush. It wasn't blooming
when I left the casita last week. Look at it now!
I wasn't sure I was going to make it from HOU to ABQ today. As soon as I checked in at Hobby Airport, it started pouring rain. My only hope, which turned out to be reality, was that the storm would be over in the hour before my flight left.

The plane left on time, but climbing to cruising altitude was extremely rocky. The plane was rocking left and right and making all sorts of crackling noises. There were also a couple of times when the plane seemed to fall and my stomach climbed to my throat. Once we got above the clouds the rocking and rolling stopped. Plus, the landing in ABQ today was probably the least bumpy ever. Because the Sunport is surrounded by mountains, landings there can be bumpy and scary!

Today I'm creating time for a sales meeting before getting on a plane back to the high desert. Now that I'm here, I also need to work on a flier to send for design. It's very weird to be at the casita without Rose. She gets a wash and fluff tomorrow morning before I get her. I'm excited to see the sweet girl!

Monday, August 4, 2014

Last day in H-town

My grandparents with Daddy/Poppy in the mid-1940s.
Daddy would have been 85 today.
Have you heard about the woman who has a 3,000+ closet? I think she lives in The Woodlands. I'm sorry that more than one $1 million in jewelry was stolen, including a locket with her deceased son's hair. Who doesn't set the alarm before going out with all those values in the house? Maybe the woman should put some mirrors in her closet or look in the ones she has. What's up with women getting so much Botox and fillers that their faces look plastic? I can't believe these women (and men) think they look attractive. Let me get old and wrinkled before I look plastic!

I had lunch with friend and former officemate Kelly today. I'm so happy for her! She and her longtime beau Cliff are planning their wedding for October. Apparently there is a business opportunity for a designer who caters to mature brides. When I married Mr. B almost 20 years and didn't feel a bridal gown was appropriate, I had a dress made. Kelly is running into the same problem as I had.

Today I'm creating the finishing touches on two magazine articles in-between meetings. One meeting down and two to go. I also need to gather up what I'm taking back to Santa Fe with me tomorrow. I've enjoyed my visit, but am ready to head back to the high desert. I know Rose has been missing me!

Sunday, August 3, 2014

A short post before a nap

Vivienne Anne Russell.
Yesterday was a long day, especially the part that involved standing up on a concrete floor for six hours.  Mr. B was kind enough to rub my feet with oil before I passed out … not from alcohol, but from heat and stress. The rest of my visit to Houston should be calmer.

I really slept well last night, but morning came too soon! I'm sure I could have slept longer.

Today I'm creating time for brunch with the marvelous McCarley sisters and my three amazing Akin nieces. We are all so busy and my nieces live so far outside the loop, so we don't get together that often. An added guest was my five-week old great niece, Vivienne. What a sweet baby girl!

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Thanks to AURA, the Titan goddess of the breeze

Gael Stack, 5'x6' oil on canvas,circa 1974-5.
The long anticipated first Saturday of August, a.k.a. White Linen Night in the Heights, is here! Literally months of planning and budgeting all come together at 5 p.m. tonight when I'll enter a dusty old building in a white linen dress. The good news is that the temperature will only be in the mid-80s AND the humidity will be low. With a larger budget this year I'm not having to do most of the work myself as I did last year. I just have to be at the venue an hour early so the buffet and bars can be set up.

The pic-of-the-day is of a painting by nationally and internationally known artist Gael Stack. Mr. B and I bought the painting 10 years ago from Pennzoil's collection of Texas artist. It hung in my office, then went though a cleaning and restoration before going to Mr. B's office and finally coming home to our Houston living room on Friday. Welcome!

Today I'm creating an afternoon with some pampering. First I'm having a mani/pedi then I'm hoping for an undo. This is the first time I'm going to Blow Dry Bar. No haircutting is involved, just a hairdo. I'm keeping an open mind that the stylist can get my shoulder-length hair off the back of my neck.

Friday, August 1, 2014

On Aug. 1, Houston gets a cool front

Dinner with Mr. B and the McZams last night.
I made it to Houston yesterday. Before leaving I boarded Rose at a kennel. As I was driving away she was at the end of her leash trying to get to me. Seeing her and knowing that she was afraid she is being abandoned was heartbreaking. I cried most of the way from SFe to ABQ.

When I got to Houston there were several packages here. I've been buying baby clothes and having them delivered to HOU. I forget how tiny babies are when they are born. Last night Mr. B and I had dinner with Dr. Mc and #1 son-in-law Nick. Tex-Mex food. Yum! I brought half my dinner home and ate it for dinner tonight. Double yum!

Today I'm creating an e-mail blast before lunch with four former co-workers. It's always good to catch up with gal pals.