June 24, 2011

The preparations are all in place for the visitation from 6-8 p.m. tonight.

The front of her light gray suit jacket was checked for stains before its delivery along with a freshly laundered blouse. The cufflinks she gave Mr. B when he was a child were returned to secure the French cuffs on her pale pink blouse. The rosary beads he brought her from Europe were located in her jewelry box so she can hold them in her hands. (Missy wants to have the rosary beads her mother used nightly as she knelt for evening prayers.) And although she will only float across soft, fluffy clouds from now on, her children insisted her black shoes would complete her outfit.

A photo removed from our wedding album was taken to the funeral home to show how she wore her hair. Her white, recently cut and permed hair should be brushed back and styled away from her face, Missy instructed, and her makeup should be simple, with just a smudge of light pink on her checks and lips.

Mr. B selected a spray of mixed spring flowers including five roses — representing his mother, father, older brother, younger sister and himself — to adorn the gray steel casket where she will rest.

While the difficult decisions and planning are behind us, the heart-wrenching moment of seeing her – eyes closed, lips upturned with a slight smile, hands folded — is still to come this evening. While we rejoice that she rests in peace, we are left to grieve with memories of her wit and kindnesses to comfort us.

Today I'm creating a safe and comforting environment where Mr. B can grieve the loss of his mother.