June 15, 2011

My mother parented me by inflicting fear, shame and abuse. As an adult I came to terms with this, realizing that she did the best she could with the skills she had. She never liked/loved herself, so how could she like/love anyone else? Although I eventually forgave my mother for her lack of parenting skills, I've never grown out of the need for acceptance and approval. As a child I wanted acceptance and approval from my mother, but rarely got them. As an adult I still seek acceptance and approval, and often let them get in my way.

Sometimes I need to remind myself to make authenticity my number one priority when I go into a situation where I feel vulnerable. If authenticity is my goal and I keep it real, I never regret it. I might get my feelings hurt, but I don't feel small, flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging. When acceptance and approval become my priority and I don't get them, I get the  feeling of "I'm not good enough." Thought of the day: when I'm able to let go of who I think I'm supposed to be and am able to be my authentic, flawed but still lovable self, it's OK. In fact, it's better!

Today I'm creating a blog filled with encouragement to like myself, accept who I am, and let go of the ideas of perfection, acceptance and approval.